Moving on is one of the hardest decisions ever to be made by man. Moving on from a relationship that you saw as your final deal is as complex as moving back in with an ex who claims to be single. The latter is rather more like a gamble.
Everyone has a first cut & very so much often, people have got stuck here like Nairobi traffic. People will bring up many excuses to fall back. The sex, the money, the feelings. Anything & everything to an extent that they’ll ignore all sound advice just to re-live the moments. I will not say that re-living moments is bad but damn, sometimes moments are not worth re-living especially if you have already moved on to a life where you have other people looking up to you & that, I am, talking about a family. Wife & your children.
They say that sometimes life brings back our exes just to see whether we’re still stupid. Well, not always are every one of our exes evil but usually, some things are better left buried where they lay.
Some guy raised his issue on social media. He said that he bumped into his ex-girlfriend of 10 years ago. They had had a good time at college & then after as she went abroad for further studies, he got married.
But as the devil will always want to pull tricks on us, they met again along the walks of life, & she is not married yet, looks hotter & they’ve agreed to go for a date. Ting*
Meanwhile, in the space of 10 years, this guy has not only got a wife but kids too & now he’s here tripping that feelings for the first cut have crept up again & now he’s in a state of romantic dilemma.
So this is where I get to ask whether this isn’t lust? I mean you already have a wife & kids & yet here you’re feeling attracted to someone else whose looks you’re already drooling at. That may not be the main problem because naturally, it happens but going ahead to even propose a date? That’s where the devil even dances the more. They say that feelings for anything attractive physically is not love but lust. It makes your hormones boil & you feel restless down there to an extent that you want to get immediately intimate with that person & very so often, once you get in between the sheets then all this ‘magic’ disappears. I don’t even know to where either.
The reason this qualifies to being called lust is because more so often, it is temporary & never has it been worth it at any one bit. It’s never been worth giving away a whole family which deserves the best from you including forgetting your past & moving on as they had done nothing to deserve this sexual promiscuity.
One of the biggest problems lust presents to a family is that the one in lust will start bringing up non issues where they weren’t in the first place. They’ll jump at the slightest err & blow it out of proportion because now they’ve been blinded by the new catch. If bae doesn’t call that day they’ll think he/she’s cheating, they’ll start to think that maybe the sex at home is boring, they’ll blame bae for irrelevant marital issues amongst others all because they’re thinking that now they’ve struck gold. And just like Eve’s encounter with the serpent, they will be manipulated with what looks like the greener pastures so they’ll drop their bird in the hand for what seems like two in the bush only to realize at a latter point in time that damn, they were duped.
What really makes it so hard to instead of spending on this old alien, you take your wife for a treat, be it shopping, a holiday, a dinner date or crazy, romantic hangout instead of frolicking with this woman who’s got nothing to lose (Because it’s you that will be spending on her & she has no relationship or family to lose at her end) while you on the other hand have everything to lose & for how long is it going to be hidden because definitely you’re going to find yourself in situations where you’re going to be creeping around, looking over your shoulder hiding texts, making hideous calls et al?
He even mentioned that he’s been with his wife faithfully through the marital ups & downs for ten years. What kind of currency would he be paying her & their three children that would love to be in a united home?