Love is sweet. Love is precious & if you treat it well, with the right kind of partner, everything about you will definitely show that something about you is going on well.
However, much as it has remained elusive to so many people, some have had the opportunity to have it but yet ending up losing it like a hot potato without even knowing the reason(s) why.
Today, I would like to unmask those elusive reasons so that in case it has unfortunately ever happened to you, it fortunately never has to happen again. Just get that coffee mug, sit back & get ready to reflect on some of the things you may have failed to notice in that relationship that crashed.
1. Status – The level of status one has is usually determined by one’s financial muscle. Today’s world revolves around how much one weighs (financially). You have more command if you have money than one who doesn’t. Even if you’re talking trash. Many ladies have been conditioned to think that men are the sole providers in a relationship (you can even blame some religious text for that) so she looks for a man who can fulfill the most financial obligations in a relationship. If the man seems to be sleeping on the job at any point, she will already be having number two ready to replace him. Some partners may become irked at the low income of the other, feeling enough isn’t being provided & decided to run away for bigger wallets (very common of these days.)
2. Character – Sometimes characters may fail to become compatible. This may happen later when the couple has moved in together. During the dating/ courtship period, a lot of stuff gets covered up because the time for them to manifest is short & everyone is trying to show their best. However, as the relationship keeps moving from one step to another, some traits become hard to hide & some may be the exact ones that the other can’t keep up with & before the sun rises the next day, the relationship is going up in flames.
3. Distance – This is one of the biggest relationship killers. It is up there with financial status. Different people react to distance differently. One may see this as an opportunity to flirt, find a temporary substitution or creep around & eventually elope. Sometimes it becomes too long eventually creating a vacuum that needs to be filled. One may get tired of endless promise returns of the other eventually figuring out that probably they may not return. Who knows, they may have picked another way.
4. Communication – The strength & type of communication bears greatly too to the survival of a relationship. How, when & why you communicate is key. How – By which means & style do you talk? The language; coercive, soft & loving or rather nagging & stuff like; how often. Usually when talking is distanced, people gradually fall out & become ghosts/memories of who they used to be. When& why – Some talk only when they need something & would call you sweet names when in lack but when they have nothing they need, you’re kept in the shadows. Since you’re not in the relationship as an emergency service provider, you should simply walkout.
5. Ideologies & decision making – One may believe that unicorns existed & the other certainly doesn’t entertain such gibberish & failure to meet on an understanding would jeopardize everything. Do the ideologies exist amicably or everyone has their views & aren’t willing to compromise? Some things like the number of kids to have, who pays which bills, who drives the car etc.
6. Peer pressure – This mainly comes from the woman’s side especially if her relationship isn’t doing fine. Someone said that as you’re praying for your relationship, pray for your woman’s friends too because they’re the generals of the relationship. They’ll be the ones pointing out all the wrongs they think there are (which actually end up creating more wrongs than before, for the female love of drama & games). Why doesn’t he build you a house? Why does he look a certain way? & before you know it, they’re introducing her to possible, better suitors & that moment my friend, she’ll start comparing you to someone else & before the month ends, she’ll have made a decision & usually that decision doesn’t include keeping you around. Fear Women. That gender.
7. Ignoring the red flags. We always have cues we look for in someone to help us know their character flaws (What we call red flags) before getting into a relationship. Signs that when we recognize them in someone, we instantly call the dating off because we can’t stand them as they would make the relationship a bumpy ride. Some of them might be; baby daddy/ mama issues, hygiene, ideologies, relationship with ex, etc. But then at times, in our quest for love, there are times we meet someone who makes us feel so good (as we desire) and we end up turning a blind eye to their flaws usually with the hope that we will be able to change them into who we desire. Now that, my friend, is how the drama (road to relationship depression) begins. Never ignore red flags. Never ever. It’s hard to change an adult into who we want.
8. Us. Yes. As simply put as that. Sometimes relationships fail because of us and our character, attitude toward the relationship, general views about relationships, etc. Things like; always thinking it’s only our ways are the best to run the relationship, failure to compromise, getting into the relationship for personal gains, ineffective communication, etc. and it’s hard for people to pick themselves out as the reason why the relationship failed.