It is not rare that you’ve met someone who (usually men) is crumbling to the pressure of formalizing a relationship. Formalizing a relationship includes a man visiting his woman’s family to present himself as the one taking their daughter, asking for their blessings, and usually give the date on which they’ll formalize everything (wedding).
Many African girls love that stuff and will usually pressure their men to do it just a few months into dating. This sometimes happens even without her looking into the financial implications. For her, she wants it done no matter what because she views it as an indicator that you are actually not there to hit and run…plus showing off to her girls that her man is serious…and he got the money. (Our girls just love functions, damn).
However, this is where many things start going wrong. That pressure, many a time is too much for the man to handle. He feels caged in and being dictated over so he will wish to be out of it at any chance he gets.
As your guardian angel, as I’ve always been, this is where I come in to tell you that never rush to date someone especially if you’re not yet really sure where your footing in the relationship is or where the ship is sailing the two of you to.
Give it time while studying them. A lot of people put on a show to make it easier for others to fall for them but after some time, the evil truth reveals itself yet you’re way in too deep.
Take a back seat & watch them. Why are they rushing to formalize things? Are they running from something? Their past? Why? What’s wrong with it? Your property? Observe their character. How do they behave on social media (friends, posts, liked pages, pics, etc.)? That’ll give you a good picture of what you’re getting yourself into.
Listen to their jazz. Is it about career advancement, plot, or fighting wars with those they feel are better than them? Where do they like to hang out from & with whom, doing what? Are they smoking shisha, punching stuff, sipping on soda, or romping with everybody on the dance floor?
How do they behave around you? Do they expect you to take them out every weekend & constantly top up their airtime of which your failure to do so they go WrestleMania on you or the only time he calls you is when he wants to eat that cookie? & you call that reliable love?
Literary everyone above 20 years has been in a relationship before but if you guys have been on good talking terms (which a normal couple should) & talked about your ex’s, have you found out the reason for the fall of their previous relationship(s)? Was it about the money, trust issues, age? Look for the red flags in a rushed relationship. They’re always there.
You gonna be in a relationship, worse still when both of you are on apparently good terms (Ok, when your partner loves you good) but when for you, deep down, you feel like it was a blunder. A calculation gone wrong because you refused to look into the red flags or wanted to please your person & now you want out…but you’re held in. Take time. The world should be yours to master.