There is a hustle of finding a marriage partner. After concluding that the two of you are what y’all been looking for in a marriage partner, then there’s the external acceptance phase & trust me, it is a dread. A very tense moment because you do not know what to expect from your people or what your partner is to expect from them. Fingers crossed. Usually, friends are the easiest people to make fall in love with your partner. I don’t know why. Probably because they got nothing to lose. Happy-go-lucky chaps. But then there’s the family. Some families have norms & expectations that come with who comes into their family. The character of the new person, their legacy you name it & sometimes this gets too insane & intense that the new person & them fall out… especially about issues concerning character. Did someone say, “the British Royals”?
In the end, some couples end up going rogue & literally disappear into their own planet & start their own thing entirely a fresh. A romantic compromise. But what do you think of it? How far would you go in trying to marry your family’s relationship expectations with your own appreciations? How far would I, Shadray, go?
Personally, I believe that it’s important one’s family accepts one’s partner thus the need for one to do PR for their partner before & in the event of meeting them. The family should leave room for change & acceptance that people, especially adults have varying tastes & preferences & a wide degree of independent choice.
But what happens in the case that they say no?
Well, much as the end decision is yours because it’s about your happiness, it’s important for one to make their family accept their partner because these are the people that are supposed to be there for you in case things go wrong. It’s part of what we call, ‘fighting for love.’
It’s not only about fighting for your own pleasure but also put your kids in mind. They will need a grandparent to go to. An aunt, uncle etc. Sometimes, especially these days, things get tough that it’s common for one to send their kids to their people to widen the space to hustle to make ends meet but if your family isn’t in sync with your partner, then where are you sending your kids to where they won’t likely be discriminated against?
When you need to get away as a family but you fell out with your family because of your partner, is it always going to be at your friends’ homes? Can’t they get tired of you? Or it’s gonna be at hotels only? The expense.
Sometimes parents die before their kids are of a self-sustainable age & God forbid if you didn’t make it right with your family then who’s going to take in your kids? You’ve already abused all of them so naturally, people often take these things at heart so they’ll pass the anger on to your kids.
Don’t let your family dictate on your relationship because it’s your life but try as much to make sure your partner & the families involved are friends. They may not agree on everything about them but maximize on what they agree on. Usually, they eventually catch up. It’s a process some times. Personally, if I am in a relationship with someone, I try to make sure that my people get to know them & accept them. Why I chose that kind of girl is my issue & I’ll try as much to make them accept her because she’s the one I’m to spend forever with. Since I am not to commit incest, they should understand why her. It’s my job. However as well, people must also try to be likable. I can’t take you to my people & you start acting like you own the land on which they built.