In My Place, It Has Always Been Him.

Priorities set straight, I wanted to evolve with you. It was all about you. Love and loyalty. It wasn’t too much for me but it seemed too much for me to ask of you. It seems the possibility of me and you isn’t something that you wanted. We’re now pushing love back and forth like it’s something worthless…otherwise if it’s something that you wanted then you wouldn’t have evaded. Backsliding. You would have stayed like it mattered. Priorities. Now you got me fading.

I picked you up, gently and bandaged the cracks on your scarred heart. Mended the broken parts. Then I breathed my love into you & opened you slowly, just in case it was too early to emotionally romanticize your uncertain sanctuary. I loved to watch you heal. To watch you move on from what was. Or so I thought. The hurt that got you hurt.

I held on for too long because I thought there would be a miracle. I loved you, a truth no miracle. A clear reality. All I asked for was clarity. Are you here or still there? You never gave it because your loyalty was fictitious. Through it all, you never left the other side. It’s like you only thought of me when you were lonely and I lived through that lie. Love blinded.

I remember all the moments I hoped to devour time with you before it slipped away from us. But you cut me too deep till I fell apart. My heart, you left broken. Yet mine is what had healed yours. Symbiosis. I lay bleeding while you walked back over me. My corpse your carpet.

I wanted to write a story with you. Take note, a story can only happen if you turn the pages. A beautiful story, I wanted to go all the way…to the last pages. But you never showed clarity because when you loved me, you still loved him too, the one who broke your heart in the first place. I was your landing cushion.

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