Day 20 Winterabc2021. Baby Steps. The First.

I am not that guy for story telling once I realized I’ve had two stories sitting in my drafts folder for about two years now. Damn. But now Afrobloggers is here. 🤦🏾‍♂️

It’s 8:14 p.m. He’s just getting home. The streets are cold. It had drizzled. He’d braved an agonizing traffic that usually forms after. He goes up the steps to his home. Pretty bummed & looking like a suited up zombie. Lazily knocks at the door & follows it with the usual abracadabra “It’s Tut.”


The door is opened at a lightning speed. She nearly walks through him with hugs & kisses as he’s hastily led to the living room. The baby is seated on the fur carpet in the center of the well disorganized room. “It’s like there’s been a clothes’ fight in here.” He exclaims.


She tells him to just be normal & wait to be wowed. Oh. He thinks she’s going to say the baby belongs to the athletic guy who lives three blocks down the street. She responds to his sarcastic remark with a jolly “Stop being silly” remark.
They’re being themselves. It’s what lovers should be like.


As he’s there trying to liven up the moment the more, the baby does it. No. He didn’t see it. Or so he thinks. “Did I just see something unusual?” She stares with him towards the cute little thing that’s equally staring back at them with equal surprise. He turns to his Nankanmun to ask her again. It’s like he’s seen a mutant or something like that.


He then pretends he ain’t seen nothing. Just to tempt to see whether something will happen again. The baby calls out to him. “Dada.” A slow drool drops down her left chin. The minion doll falls out of her hands. She stretches to grab it while complaining the best way she can in her baby language. If only we knew exactly what the gibberish words mean. We’re always guessing. The mom is looking unusually cheerful at this moment.


Just as he bends to go pick it up for her, evidently confused by the unusual behavior in the house tonight, the baby puts both hands on the nearby chair leg, heaves up in a chameleon manner & then boom, she’s off the ground & is now
standing before her dad (& already seen but still as equally surprised mom) on both feet.


You should see how her mother screamed at the moment. I won’t tell you how the daddy screamed but damn, Kia was on her feet. This time in front of both her parents…as she put her right foot forward.

Memories And Break Ups

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There will never be any one that will ever love a break up. Rare moments if you do especially if it is so well deserved. It is something that we can never be used to. Sometimes even the person that breaks us up also gets engulfed in the break up blues. It could be that bad. Always that bad.

 

But what really makes them that bad? What makes a break up one of the most dreaded if not the only feared part of any relationship? Some people will never know. But then how could you not know. Though still if you do not know then this is why you ought to know.

Do you know something called memories?

Remembering of the things you shared together, the things you had planned to do together. Family, dates, property, trips. The relations you had built. The friends that had joined in your inner circle. The ones that only could understand your relationship. The two families involved. Call them in-laws.

To the heart broken, the rare things you saw only in that person and the unique feeling only they could make you feel. How they made you laugh. Easily. How they made you trust. Easily. How they made you forget all your fears and your refuge in the hard times of your darkest hours. The way that person could make love to you. The hugs, the kisses. The touches. Romances. The things you loved of them. The hopes they had built and how you cannot believe that you were living a lie, blaming yourself for having trusted so easily and now that bastard is walking away like that. The gifts you had shared and now you are going to see them almost for a long time of your life. Some you cannot afford to lose. It is not that easy because they are useful. Must admit.

The betrayal you had caused someone that you had at one time made plans with and built so many things together with. The guilt you get when you remember the promises you had made of how you will love that one person for eternity. The guilt that comes from you remembering the people you had impressed and thought that your relationship was the best that others could learn from. The guilt from the hopes you had made someone have and now they have to get shattered because they have to face the next moment of their life understanding that the hopes they had in you are now false. The guilt that drives you into realizing what a monster you are especially if the other person loved you wholly even at the times you treated them like shit and now you see their innocence is getting wrongly paid in return. By you none other than. When you get to lay down with someone else but you cannot forget the best lay that the former could give you.

Your mind will keep playing these things over and over again till you get sick. Memories, shit! That bitch is so deep!

Falling in love. The Evolution.

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Falling in love has changed evolutionarily. Biblically, it started from when God created man a woman and since they were only two roaming the only garden in the universe, it was just inevitable. God was the middle man as well. Very inevitable. Not to mention that the woman actually came from the rib of man. Super inevitable.

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Creation Ministries International

Then it came to when God created so many other people and so He was the one who gave orders on who to get married or was to marry whom. He would come to you in a dream and tell you where to go, or what to do and that the other person who will do this or that is the person for you. And well, you had no choice but to do just that. I hear there is guy who spent over ten years working for his bride to be at his father-in-law’s so as to get his wife and in the end, he even got a bonus, her sister. Hahaha. Wasn’t God wonderful!

And then life moved into the Anno Domini era. We saw an angel as the match maker when He told Mary she’ll have a child (without sleeping with any man) and told the man that he’ll be a dad to a child he did not work for, literary. I am telling you this guy Joseph is the strongest husband in belief probably. Just imagine being told that in this present day. All the drama that would unfold.

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And then come in the non-biblical archaeologists. These guys state that falling in love along long time ago was not that hard. All man had to do was to collect nuts, fruits and wrestle a bear or lion (I am shook as well here) or what not, bring it to his woman of desire and she would then decide to be it or not (is that really a piece of cake?). Sometimes physic also played part. The bigger and well-built the guy the greater were his chances of getting a woman. And both of them seem to be the norm these days. If you ain’t got the mulla, at least let your love and looks be top notch.

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Now when I was going through my high school years. This is how we dated and or fell in love. It had all the drama Shakespeare would have made a very sold out play out of.

When a guy saw a girl he wanted, he got excited. Okay, that came out boring because it is always too common. But I am experiencing a writers’ block while I as well have the idea in my head at the same time so words are in here fighting. Okay, where was I? Yeah, got it. Here we go.

The dude (as we were called then) would get excited. The first people that got to know were his crew. The group’s approval was always very very important in determining who dated who. If they considered her off then dude, you had to call it off. No one wanted to have a mate rolling with a girl looking negatively peculiar. Like she just escaped a predator mass killing. Though some dated in the shadows without their crews noticing. Sneaky little bastards. Anyways, if the crew gave the green light then why not, dude got to dive right in. They would devise means on how to get her. Teamwork was always so very welcome because usually, quote me right, USUALLY, the guy was a player. Yup. Many of the guys in school were players. And if he had some air of celebrity around him, it doesn’t need rocket science to figure that out, right? It is because almost all girls wanted to hang out with a guy that every other girl dreamt of having. If he wasn’t a singer, then maybe a dancer, artist, writer, athlete or a bwat (academic champion).

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So, the crew would arrange all possible scenarios of when or where the two met. They would lure the girl into a class room and then leave one by one until the two were together or they would send made up greetings from the guy whenever they met the girl. Or plant stuff in her books or bag or send it through her girls blah blah blah. Consistency has always been key. They would as well act as the A-team in case the girl was about to bump into the guy with another girl. Emergency measures activated. For guys like me, yours truly the author, my role included, apart from devising emergency plans, to giving guys words to vibe with or write letters for guys who did not have any literature art in them and send them to their dates. Oh, how silly it was seeing their girls smile and blush and did all that drama high school girls do when they get mail from their guys. Some even brought it to me to see and all I had to was be like “Oh, that’s some lovely piece he penned you right there. Dude really loves you”. Of course it was in the guy’s handwriting. Authenticity.

But the most dramatic of all phases was in expressing ones feelings and waiting for the reply. In this moment usually, the guy took over a whole week, month or term to get to it. He would look up the right words, usually disturbing us in our peace, look for a very good perfume, consult the Shakespearean gods, upgrade his marks in class. (Which girl fell for a dork?), be very vigilant in answering class questions. The guy literally did everything that would portray him in the good light. The damsel had to get the impression of a very hard working, intelligent guy. Dude, it was real work. Someone even adopted foreign accents, walking style and movie star facial expressions. You gotta look right. Today it was guys call lit!

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So, we would buy airtime, bench for our parents’ or elder siblings’ phone (so before midnight struck, we would have to be in good terms with them) and load minutes or wait when the call rates dropped to about 2% and call the girls and talked through the night. In the dark. Vibing then was dope. No WhatsApp texting but actual voice call-dating. There were no lols and emojis we have no clue on how to react to. There was no blue ticking. She just did not pick your call. Straight up. Texting was by sms. No sending nudes. Oh how innocent we were. We wrote real letters. In English. This was the best vibing experience ever. The anticipation of waiting for a reply from your partner and then boom it would come floating in the evening after class or she would drop it in your stuff and you stumble on it by mistake or she would sneak plant it in your hands or pockets without anyone noticing then you would run to a secure place and read it and smile and dream and do all sorts if childish things. You would read that letter all day into the night and the days after. You had to reply. It was a must. And had to include a dedication part. That was a list of songs you would add to help you convey the message better. The lyrics would sum it all up.

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The climax of all this hive of activities and circus, the guy would, in a very lonely moment (for two) either in the class corner, in a lonely class room, at the field together or anywhere as long as distraction was minimal, he would drop the words. In a way, the girls always knew it was coming. I mean, they too had been dated a lot and gone through this very ordeal so they always knew when the guy was about to drop it. And they always seemed surprised. Which was okay.

Her response was never immediate. Which was a good thing. It escalated the drama. It helped the guy cut a few extra weight and all. And it was usually a sign. I mean, the girl would usually ask for about a few days to a week to get back to you with a reply. That week or few days always seemed like an entire term, fam.

What were they even thinking about? I need a girl to give me an answer to this. What exactly took you so long to reply to a guy’s proposal? Were you weighing how much candy he could afford to buy you at the school canteen? Whether he was celebrity enough in school? Checking out your co-girlfriends? It was during this moment that she would put you in the hot seat and ask you all sorts of questions. They would bring out stories of the girl you dubbed at the school danke (our word for dance), the girl you winked at in the literature class. Some would tell you that when they grow up they wanted to be nuns and we would act sad, shocked and hurt just to play along. (psst, girls, that line was a bore, puhlease, I wish we had a way of telling you). She would ask why you drop your pants or walk with a limp. Why do you eat school lunch? (usually posho & beans) Two plates even. She would be confused of whether to date a bad boy or the good in you and yet it clearly showed that she wanted the bad in you. Damn! It seemed like trying to solve one of the mazes in Maze Runner.

All that was bliss until the day she says yes. One hour later, you will be staring into space asking yourself that now that she has said yes, what are we going to be talking about? How am I even supposed to run this thing? Was I in my right mind to do this?

…but these days things have changed. The guy and girl would meet, wine and dine, sleep together and after enjoying each other’s things and while basking in each other’s nakedness, the girl would ask, “But, what are we?” Now the guy’s answer would depend on how the sex experience was and this would determine whether they are going to be a couple or not. Wow!

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Love. The Feeling That Killed Him!

Love. The Feeling That Killed Him!

Like a defeated lion, like a stalking shadow, he walked on the dimly lit streets. His head hunched into the upturned collar of the coat that donned him. He was not like its owner. It is like it wore him. Dr. Strange. He bent forward and forged his way into the wind that was blowing hard on him. Hurricane. It was all chills around him. But strangely, the cold came from the center of his heart. The organ that led to the pain that he was in right now. People around him though, lived in a different world. They seemed at ease. Like they were enjoying the weather. Lovers walked by hand in hand. He occasionally stopped to look. To look at the bodies of lovers that were happily walking by. Hand in hand, dancing, leaning against walls, embracing in dark corners or walking so close to each other they nearly dissolved into one body. He was swelled with envy, anger, pain. Hate. He was saddened. His heart had turned black and blue. Unpleasant. His eyes welled and reddened & occasionally sniffled back a tear. The shades he wore across them hid all that he did not want people to see. They swelled with tears. It was evident that he was troubled. Anyone could see it. He was like a beaten up silhouette of a man who once loved. He looked like a man who had been there before. But just like the wind, it seemed to all have blown away. Vapor.

This was a man who in a few years past was in the best relationship that had ever happened to him. It was all he lived for. He breathed for. This relationship was…was his life. And like the end of life, it was dead now. There were numerous questions in his mind right now. It had turned into a buffet cooking pot of thoughts. It was a war zone in there. He could not believe in reality. But unfortunately, this was it. The lonely reality. He could not believe all the things that his mind kept playing back from his memory. Like a reel, the scenes occasionally came playing again & again. Stuck on replay. The questions that he kept asking himself were harder than any test paper he had ever sat. But when did love questions ever been any easier anyway? Across the street, he saw a guy kissing his girl goodbye & as he was walking past a building step, a young couple sat on the higher steps talking animatedly judging from the gestures the guy’s hands were making in the air. She was laughing hysterically. It was then that he asked himself;

What exactly had gone wrong? Where did he really go wrong? He thought he had it all but then what? How haven’t they been through it all? And a clean sheet he kept. Always coming straight to her every day without tripping anywhere else. How haven’t they been there for each other? It was like a real marriage minus the rings or vows to it. But it all seemed it was not enough to make everlasting memories? She had elevated him. Made him float up there. Walking on clouds. Flying on the wings of love. But then condemned him, all of a sudden. Just like that. Pontius Pilate. Was it the price he was paying for loving her with the whole of his life? For making her the fore center of his being, hopes & dreams? Oh how he loved her. Oh how he breathed & lived her. How he wanted & needed her. Why? That was the question. Why would she have to punish him like this? Why? Up to this point, he still got break down moments. He, like Jesus, wept. Cried. Like a baby, he soaked his bed in tears. He hated himself. He hated so many things.
It was the most inhumane thing he had ever experienced. But that’s the decision the lady had made & he had to count his losses.
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He now understood why we meet people that are so broken they can hardly love. It’s because of moments like this. The burden that was put on an innocent soul that we meet after.
How could she fall back on all the things she has always warned him about? Don’t fall back to your ex, don’t fall out of love with me quickly, you seem like you’ll wake up one day & leave me, you don’t love me enough. Why?

But now he was sorry. Sorry for not loving her enough to make her stay. For being jealous for something that he wanted. Her. The thought of another guy doing things to her that he used to. The pain that came with just thinking of that made him shiver. He thought he could be around for a time hoping that she may change her mind. That’s true love right there. For he loved her with the whole of his life & heart & cried a very long time for her absence for she had given him two years of the best his life has ever had & it was this year that he was even to love her more. Now he had to live with the loss every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of this year.

She said that she had gone where she was happier. He remembered when they danced on the city streets. When they sat on building steps and jazzed. Held hands as they were walking & kissed under the street lights or when they broke public rules & got caught up in a city mall mess. He remembered her birthday when the deejay screamed out her name over the music, when they sneaked up an incomplete building & made love low key. The times they made 50 shades level of love. With music in the background & how they moved their bodies to the beat. Oh the sweat & the heat.
The PDA at rolex stalls. Beating their own eggs & cutting up their own cabbages. The fried eggs. Sausages. The movie nights? Do they now enjoy them like we did? Cuddling while the film rolled? Laughing at the actor’s jokes (Oh no, they’re beating him with sausages) & play rewind? Trying to hide tears when the sad parts come on. How he hated The Thundermans. The little unannounced gifts for being the great girlfriend that he knew there was. Maybe the cuddling is sweet. No lights but just the two of them. At peace in the dark. Talking about anything. Talking about their ex’s. Oh shit! Ex’s? He wondered whether he was now a part of their conversations. He wondered what she was telling the new guy about him. That he used to make her happy? Made her dance & dub him too? That he used to calm her thoughts when she was troubled? Or she is telling him of his weaknesses? That he had ugly night shirts? Whether she now had a fav new music genre. Away from EDM.
Whether he complimented her of how nice & hot she looked in or out of them clothes? Cuddling from behind in front of the mirror? Embracing tightly & dancing in the living space when they were getting back from a fight?

Love. The Feeling That Killed Him! (2)

Does he spank her ass too? Like he used to like it or maybe she’s also started spanking his too & he tries to jump away from it & tell her “They don’t spank guys’ butts” Nope. They don’t honey.” While wriggling the ka finger. Whether they also make aside jokes at people? Quoting them & acting them out in their free time like, “hhhmm, I love cake.”
The love letters. Oh my. Does he love writing too? So now she has another little box where she keeps them with love & reads them once in a while or she’s already tossed away his from the little box & replaced them? Door mail?
Do they have initials now? Has he met her family already? Do they find him charming?

Losing her, he lost the most valuable thing/ person in his life. When they broke up, he wanted to do all crazy things people in that situation usually do. Things he’s always warned others about. He sprinkled water over his face when entering the house so that people don’t notice the tears in his eyes. He started walking with shades everywhere for that same reason. He cried so much his eyes shrunk in & hurt. At one point through all this blinding pain, he thought that maybe life should end & as he stepped into the road to cross to the other side, he did not see the car that was turning the corner & reaching mid-way into the street, he felt a heavy force goring into his ribs & felt his body hoisted into the air. By the time he woke up, he was staring at a bleeding, lifeless shell of a man on the tarmac. People were gathering around it and in a few moments, a bright light showed up from above. Surprisingly, he was the only one that could see it. Bodies in white came to him & together, started on a journey to heaven. He was finally free of the earthly pain.

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Angel of healing, Raphael

No Man Is An Island. Talk To Someone.

No Man Is An Island. Talk To Someone (2)

There’s a time I shared an article about how important it is for people to make their own decisions. The freedom it came with. The level of Independence & power it wielded & oh boy did people feel elevated. It clearly showed what people want. The ability to make their own rules & stand on their own & in personal comfort zones. It is like no one wants to be told what to do. It is like everyone wants an own space where one can make and break their own rules. It is because people want to hear what they want to hear. They want to hear what sounds like music to their ears. People are hateful of criticism especially when it comes to issues where they want personal gain. Call it selfishness? Perhaps? People do not want to be pointed in a direction that seems contrary to what they do or may want even if they are doing something wrong or seemingly going off track. For as long as they’re feeling comfortable with it, no one else should tell them nothing. Example? Some people don’t want to be told to quit drinking or smoking for as long as they feel good in that moment, that’s all that matters. Your health & monetary concerns? Shove them up your…nose. Sorry! Can’t put my French here. If a brother is vibing a slay queen & she’s smiling, you can’t tell him it’s a trap. He feels it’s the moment. We all know the end results. Many times he may as well know it but at that moment, when he’s spending on her like a brother should & she’s seemingly digging his shit, he’ll feel the man. It’s until he’s six feet under financially & she no longer feels his vibes is when he’ll come back to life like Lazarus, realize what he’s been being warned about & begin another phase of complaining of how girls ain’t loyal these days. Dude, we warned you. Trying to warn someone of the dangers of some business ventures but because the salesman talked with a lot of color, they don’t see the fall ahead of them until the scheme runs off with their money. It’s like when you try to warn a sister about the dangers of the guy she’s dating at the moment but just because the guy is vibing right despite her seeing all the negatives, she’ll keep marching on & she’ll call all & sundry how hateful & unhappy for her they are. Love is a complicated feeling. It indeed is damn blind & because many are blinded by feelings that come from the heart, they fail to use reasoning to see through stuff & it is until they’re in too deep of the toxic relationship do they want to get out but then it’s too late & this births another world of situationships & living together not because of love but because of the mistakes they made that they have to live with.

All this coming from the fact that people fail to consult from others just because they feel they’re right, adults, fear the unknown, fear dependence & all that. It’s not a guarantee that everyone will give us the best advice because yeah, there are people that are totally whack when it comes to such but it actually helps you to hear what other people think of it. Some might’ve experienced it & what they went through might be vital to either saving you or breaking you.

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That’s the reason why we have inspirational speakers & yet still at the same time, that’s the reason why many people do not like them. Because they usually talk us out of our comfort zones by pointing out our weaknesses & mistakes. Breaking down the blind that had covered our peaceful ignorance. Imagine someone talking all the negative characters of a kind of person you’re dating or of the toxicity that is in the relationship you’re in at that moment. Things you already know or have an idea about but because you read somewhere that love ignores the past and looks at the present, you fail to use reasoning but instead dig a six feet, four cornered hole in the ground & lay there.

What we as people have failed to know is that a point in our lives we need someone who will not talk nicely to us. Who won’t sugarcoat the words they speak to us. Someone who will talk shit about our comfort zone till our hearts & minds can’t stand them no more. A person who will tell us the dangers of spending past our income, about the dangers of impulse spending, who’ll tell us to get out & look for work. A person that’ll tell us that the relationship we’re getting into or already is a titanic. It ain’t gonna take us nowhere. A sinking ship. Not afraid of whether you’ll kick them out of your life for talking the naked truth about us because they will not be making much of a loss out of it but instead it will be on you. Your loss.

We have so many friends who like ass-kissing us (sorry, my French is back) that they will never tell us what mistakes we may be doing onto our lives just because they do not want to lose the friendship. Those usually may be good friends but at an extent are not helping at all. I had a friend who I tried to put on the right path of life but because he had some money, the friends who met him often usually had an upper hand on him & never reminded him to always go for classes, to save some money, to stop drinking & until he drank himself out of school, they abandoned him & continued with their lives & now he is in the sorriest state I’ve  ever seen him in. No education degree, a father of two from two different mothers, always having a drunk gaze on him & it makes me feel like it is one of the biggest fails I’ve had.

Of the friends we side with. Those that usually sugarcoat our shit. We need people around us who will analyze the situation we are in & tell us whether we should do a U-turn on that past relationship, failing business or not. There is always a sign not to miss when more people are up against some of our moves than those in support. There is always that sign we should never ignore. We should always put our brains to it. There must be a reason especially if such a situation involves love. There is always something to look out for. It is at that moment that we must put aside the emotions & memories & use the brains. And ask ourselves, why is there so much negative energy about this?

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It’s not that I am saying for one to seek & trust in their own judgment is wrong but what I am trying to show you is that usually our brains will pick up decisions that do not challenge us. Decisions that keep us in our comfort zones & even when we notice some dangers that may come up with it, the brain will look for some excuse to keep us going there & it’s until we are way in too deep of the shit do we realize what a grave mistake we made and we only have ourselves to blame for it as we would be too shy & embarrassed to share with anyone else so we end up burying ourselves in our own filthy misery until we are cut off from the world & then we start swearing and calling people haters, how people forget others easily & how they’re so much full of themselves. How it’s too peopley outside & how bad the government is yet we are the ones who cut ourselves off of the world. Off our potential rescuers.

Therefore one thing to note is that in this world, no man was created to stand alone. Very many times we need people like that. People who will help us open our eyes in some moments. It is not that they don’t like what’s best for us but because they have seen us in our happiest moments & in our lowest, they now have an idea & wishes of what best suits us. Of what best for us actually looks like.